Saturday, January 29, 2011


thun nie genap 9thun umi tinggalkan sarah,walid,abang and adik2..tapi rasa macam br semalam umi tinggalkan kami..

umi ingat x dlu time sarah kecik..umi slalu bwatkan homework,ironkn baju,kapurkn kasut..coz umi tau anak umi nie xmampu berdikari sendiri lagi..tapi bila da besar sket,umi ajar sarah masak, kemas rumah, bsuh baju, iron baju..kadang sarah merungut,tapi sarah xsedar sebenarnya umi nak sarah uruskan abg,adik2 and walid lepas umi xde..

umi ingat x..dulu umi slalu masuk hospital.berhari2..umi slalu sakit.tp umi xpernah ckap,umi xpernah mengeluh..umi hanya tersenyum bila kami datang melawat.

umi..sarah ingat lagi time ktorg tgok umi kat hospital.masa tuh umi pregnant kn adik..lpas jmpa umi kat hospital happy sangat tapi macam ade something wrong..rupanya adik da meninggal dalam perut.besok tuh,kami kebumikan adik lepas umi bersalin.masa tuh sedih sangat..coz da lama xdapat adik lepas ifah..tapi rupa2 nya,TUHAN da tentukan segalanya.dia nak tggu umi dalam syurga.

umi..sarah ingat lagi,31ogos..lebih kurang kol9mlam.tiba2 kami dengar umi menjerit dlm bilek..trus kami berlari utk tgok umi.umi sedang bertelekung and terbaring atas katil.umi cakap umi sakit.waktu tu,muka umi pucat sangat..maktok suruh baca yasin untuk umi.umi nazak waktu tu..

umi ingat x..umi mintak sarah suapkan air yasin.waktu tu baru air mata sarah menitik..coz umi suruh sarah jaga diri,abg,adik2 and walid..sarah ingat sarah kuat,tapi sarah xmampu nak than.ramai yang dtg lpas tau umi nazak..walid and yang lain2 buat sembahyang hajat..

sarah ingat lagi..sarah br tggalkan umi beberapa minit.sarah msuk dlam bilik utk baring.sebab abg and adik2 smua dlam bilek yang sama.tiba2,cik zali ketuk pintu bilik.."sarah,umi dah xada"..Tuhan lebih sayang kan umi..sarah rasa terawang2,antara percaya atau tidak.tapi itulah hakikatnya..umi dah tinggalkan kami buat selama2 nya..

umi tau x,bila umi dah xde..sarah slalu xblh tido mlam bila ingat umi.sarah tau da terlambat..tapi klu diberi peluang..sarah nak tatap muka umi dalam2..sarah nak peluk umi erat2..nak cium umi puas2


Thursday, January 27, 2011

i wanted to post sumthing..

but now is not a rite time i guess..

my heart are pumping up very fast.damn it!!!

i don't know why..

mybe coz i mad at something

but i can't speak it out.ouh God...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


you are so stupid..the more shit you idiot say about me,it only lets me know i am on your mind.why don't you live your life..and i live mine.i'm so tired of all these lies..and i can't take no more!!!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

waiting around to see a change..
waiting too long to see the same
nothing else..but wait and see
but nothing happen
nothing to do and nothing to say
but wait and wait to see no change..

Thursday, January 20, 2011

the right things are always
the hardest things to do..

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


you may think i'm selfish..perhaps.sometimes..i want more than what i need.just let me be.is it too much for me??for myself..i'm sorry if you think this is selfish.it's not that i never think about other ppl.i always think about others..but seriously,i'm tired.tired with ppl that simply judge me without knowing me..and throwing words like nobody cares..hello,i'm here!!it's hurt me..this might seem selfish.but you don't understand it

Monday, January 17, 2011

love me without fear
trust me without wondering
love me without restrictions
want me without demand
accept me for who i am

Friday, January 14, 2011


i have a butterflies in my stomach..
it is the most powerfull sensation that i've ever feel

Thursday, January 13, 2011

miss him

dear readers..i'm now in the calssroom yet doing nothing.just waiting for my lect to come in..what a waste.huh!so i just think..why don't i blogging aite..so,here i am.there's nothing much to say..i just miss him damn much.its been a while i dind't see him eye to eye..only God knows how i miss him.already 3 weeks i guess..yeah,i know..its only 3 weeks.but for us..it was like 3 years!okok..enough sarah.tomorrow we'll meet k dear darling.i know you miss me.and i miss you too..

I.M.Y <3

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

happy birthday..

happy birthday my dear sista..SWEET 17..good luck for your SPM

Monday, January 10, 2011


ouh..why so lovey dovey??

bcoz i'm in love..and bcoz this blog is mine

why should i care what you would say..



Engku Khairul Khalis

my heart,my soul,my life..do you still remember,8years ago.we don't even know each other.but somehow,fate has been determined. yesterday,i know nothing about you..but today i know everything.i'm glad that you honest with me..and i was so true with you.i'm sorry for everything that i've done.but i've learn a lot from mistakes.we both know what we go through..i hope tomorrow will be better than today.and i hope you fulfill your promise..

Sunday, January 9, 2011

kind words unsaid

reality is what you want to see.it shoudn't make a different to me..i put my trust in what you had to say but it didn't make any different anyway.i know you've tried your best..and i'm so glad.but your expectations is too high.and the reality is different for me.my eyes are opened wide enough to see.so many times i couldn't fulfill your dreams..i know you had high hopes.but i'm not deserving.as hard as i tried just isn't enough..


i'm too tired to face all this alone
he never saw what i did to him
he never heard when i speak
he never had time for me
he never cared about me

do you think i need ur trust..
think twice
have you ever trust me???
i don't think soo..

Saturday, January 8, 2011

he promise me

yesterday..he promise me that tomorrow will be my day.with butterflies and starry eyes,i read it again and again.i ask myself,could this be lies??is this a trick to bring me more pain..i shake with confusion.this seems like an allusion.with a smile in my face,my heart begin to race..i realize the possibility of my plan..and i'm waiting for tomorrow that will coming <3>

Friday, January 7, 2011


ouh..i really need a vacation.its been awhile i didn't go for a holiday..but seriously i've no idea.where should i go???

any idea???

people only see what i let them to see

outside lives a girl with eyes of joy that brings you to ease
yet inside hides a girl shedding tears of sadness
outside lives a girl with a beautiful laugh that's contagious
yet inside hides a girl screaming her lungs out in unwanted anger
outside lives a girl who is fearless and tough
yet inside hides a weak girl who lives in fear
outside lives a girl with a perfect image
yet inside hides a girl with regrets and mistakes


i admire the dedication that you have shown..you take care of me when i sick.you hold my hand when i slip.you always be there for me whenever i need.ppl could say a thousand words..but only we know what we've been through.everybody make mistake.same goes to me and you.but from there we learn..and build a new life.for everything that you have done..i just want to say thank you for all your sacrifice..

..i want to be with you today,tonight and tomorrow..

is it??

a women worries about future until she gets a husband..

a man never worries about future until he gets a wife..

long distance relationship

i'm all alone tonight..
and i missed you
i hate this kind of feelings
i wished you were here..
staring at me..
smile at me..
laugh with me..
i'm here and you were there

Thursday, January 6, 2011


this morning i've seen an accident at the kesas highway.otw to shah alam,opposite way..we're in rush that time because our class start at 8.30am.the car is on top of the divider.can u imagine!!!and i bet u know how the traffic jam was about..ppl will slow down just because they wanted to see the accident..but i've no idea about the ppl inside the car

tasha E day

happy engagement day my dear friend..

now,its ur turn..congratulations ;)

last nite..

what was happen last nite..

dis morning i reveivd a msg from my bf..he told me that sumone trying to attack him when he wanted to bank in the money last nite.he didn't realise at all.but luckily he fight back.nothing happen..

ouh dear,i'm really worried.please..after dis no more bank in money in the middle of the nite when other ppl already Zzzz..

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

without mom..

growing up as a child
i still remember mom so well
i still remember her good night kisses
and the stories she would tell
there were six of us kids
she was busy as could be
she loved us all so much
anyone could see..
as each day would end
she'd finally get a break
she'd always read her quran
and then she would pray
then came the day
she was still strong as can be
her faith was remarkable
but us kids,the pain she didn't want us to see
as each day went by
we stayed at her side
we watched her fade away
and all we could do was cry..
in her final moments
i knew it wouldn't be long
death was in her eyes
God soon would carry her home
i stayed by her side
for 2 long days
she smiled and close her eyes
then she drifted away
God give me the strength
to let her go..
and she still knows today
how i missed her so
i still try to make mom proud
because she's looking from above
she would be proud of me
and i thank her for all her love..

your daughter

sleepless night

its another sleepless night..
with my eyes wide open
looking up at the ceiling
i dunno what am i think about
but i'm sure..i missed her
my mom..that alwys be in my heart

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2011 wishlist

work harder..

upgrade my canon..


buy my own house..

CAN I???

but i still have a car to pay.. ;p


Monday, January 3, 2011


study block..

after practical week..
dis is time that we'll waiting for..
study block!!!
but yet..so boring bcoz lect didn't turn up
most of the time..
a lot of excuses..
too busy!yeah,rite.. ;p

thinking of you..

you're the first thing i think of
each morning when i rise..
you're the last thing i think of
when i close my eyes..
you're in each thought i have
and every breath i take
my feelings are growing stronger
with every move you make
my love for you is so strong
it's always just the same
you're the miracle in my life
who can always make me smile
just knowing that you care
makes my life worth while
i love you for everything that you do..

doubts and fight

don't you understand..even though we don't see eye to eye,you gotta learn to give and take..there's so much love we can make.even though we might be having a few doubts,let's take the time and try to work things out..the little things we fuss and fight about.ain't gonna matter 100 years from now..i admit i'm a little lazy.and you let things drive you crazy..sometimes you act so young.even though we don't realize.we'd be foolish not to compromise..cause what we have is all we've got.believe it or not..we've really got a lot


bust your window


where love is shown
hurt is shared
we talk,we laugh and we cry
our love for each other is never impaired

Sunday, January 2, 2011

when i'm with you..

just a small town boy and gurl
living in the crazy world
trying to figure out what is and isn't true
and i don't try to hide my tears
the secrets,all my deepest fears
through it all nobody gets me like you do
when i'm with anybody else
it's so hard to be myself
and only you can tell
i'm only me
who i wanna be
when i'm with you


we always have this set of ideals for our special one
but life,as fickle and volatile as it may be
never grants us the exact things we want
same with finding him
i never expected that he was waiting for me
and loving me
..just there..


love is like an earthquaker..

unpredictable,a little scary at times

but when the hard part is over

you realize how truly lucky you are..