conflict inside me..

last nite i can't sleep..seriously.thinking what the hell is happening here..i mean inside me.keep tinking what i've done.but thank God i've sumone to talk to..which is i called her FRIEND.and nie la gunanya ade blog kn.tmpat meluahkan segala yg terpendam..see,i'm not trying to menggatal with anybody oke my dear bf.i just talking to myself since u have no time to talk to me.and i dun think that you wanna talk to me..btw,i dun mind.i'm tired..seriously!

i'm just thinking..perit dan menyakitkan klu kt je yg kene mngalah.tapi sesungguhnya,xde cara lain selain dari mengalah,dikalahkan dan terpaksa kalah!

well,thats life.hve to be strong enough..i keep trying to make everybody happy.tapi smpai bila nak keep trying whn other ppl dun even care about me!dun even care that its HURT me..

i know i hve to solve this problem myself.its all my fault..coz i juz let you CONTROL myself.control my everything.. (no need to mention here)

penat la bila terpaksa berkorban..and sgt2 penat bila pengorbanan xdihargai.x mintak barang branded2,mahal2..x mintak suruh byarkn kete..x mintak suruh beli kn rumah..x mintak duit ribu riban.x mintak dilayan 24jam..tapi cuma nak dihargai and dihormati sebagai seorang PEREMPUAN..

seriously..kesian myself.kesian hati nie jugak.i know i'm a gud girl..last time.and trying to be as gud as possible now.perlu ke berubah klu hakikatnya this is me..terima atau tidak its up to u.i'm not asking u or begging u!

btw,TUHAN tu Maha Adil..ape yg da lepas bia lepas.it doesn't mean i'm stuck with tht and thers no way out if things had to turn out that terrible..

like someone said to me,think about gud side of me and let it keep me going on..now,its up to me to EARN some respect not ASKING for it!and i juz need to start standing on my own feet and show to him that i want to earn that respect to hold on our relationshp and in the same time thighten the string thats holding on to both of our hearts..

hell yeah..now the pipe is on and i will let it flow out

p/s:ENOUGH is ENOUGH!!!